Comic Book Gift Guide Pt. 3

While the first installment of the gift guide served as a starting point for fans of The Flash, Man of Steel, Gotham, Smallville, and the Batman:Arkhamverse/Injustice crowd and the second installment aimed to help readers looking for strong female characters and fans of the creepy comic book shows Constantine and The Walking Dead, the third installment deals (mostly) solely with (mostly) independent (mostly) non-superhero comics.

ALL-AGES ALTERNATIVE HISTORY: Buying something for a new reader? I’m a huge fans of using comics to both teach language and provoke the reader’s historical imagination. One book that I’ll giving this year is Van Jensen and Jose Pimienta’s The Leg: The Remarkable Reappearance of Santa Anna’s Disembodied Limb, which tells the story of the remarkable reappearance of Santa Anna’s disembodied limb. The book wanders around 20th century Mexican history with a few surprise guest appearances. The language and subject matter is age appropriate without being boring and an added bonus: strong female lead. Other alternative history tales for new readers can be found in the Crogan Adventures series by Chris Schweizer, Boxers & Saints by Gene Luen Yang, and Peter Panzerfaust by Kurtis Wiebe. That last one borrows pretty heavily from Peter Pan, so it makes a good gift for a Peter Pan enthusiast as well.

MORE LITERAL HISTORY, LESS ALL-AGES CONTENT: Two books that really knocked my socks off that I came across this year are Jim Ottaviani’s Feynman and Li Kunwu’s A Chinese Life. They tells two pretty different stories, but both offer incredibly human faces for incredible phenomena.

LITERAL & ALL-AGES? March Book One– stick a copy in the stocking of every young person, which bring me to…

COMICS FOR ANGELA CHASE AND JORDAN CATALANO: If you’re shopping for angst-ridden teenagers, may I suggest the Morning Glories series, Deadly Class Vol. 1: Reagan Youth, and One Model Nation?

COMICS FOR PERVERTS: Is there a better way to put a smile on a pervert’s face than by giving them a comic book gift? Probably, but comic books are good too. There are some classic filthy books like Grant Morrison’s The Filth, Alan Moore’s Lost Girls, and just about the entirety of early underground comics, but there are some really special titles you may not have heard of that will surely give the pervert on your list something to smile about while also challenging their long-held beliefs concerning the nature of the universe. These books include Sex Criminals, which tells the story of people who can stop time with their orgasms; Girls, an invasion parable from the Luna Brothers; and The Pro, a hooker with a heart of gold and superpowers. Also I’d recommend checking out the adult section of your neighborhood comic book shop if they have one- it’s fun to thumb through a few dirty pictures books, catch a glimpse of the zeitgeist and probably some pubic hair. Also the eye-candy offered by Cassie Hack of Hack/Slash might please the pervert on your list, depending on their tastes.

WORTHY CROWD PLEASER: Brian Vaughn and Fiona Staple’s Saga continues to be the best book on the shelves. With the recent release of an omnibus collecting the first 18 issues, you’re sure to make just about any literate person happy with such a collection. If you know they already read (and love) Saga, I also encourage you to look at some of their earlier work. Staples adds her artistry to Mystery Society, a book that while well-written does leave the reader longing for Vaughn’s enigmatic writing. Vaughn’s previous stuff includes Y: The Last Man, a very long story about the last man on earth and his monkey; Pride of Baghdad, a tale of lions that escaped the Baghdad zoo; Ex Machina, a post 9/11 story about a mayor than communicates with machines; and Runaways, which is not indie, but Marvel and would make a good gift for the angst-ridden teenagaers mentioned earlier in the list.

 

 

2014 Comic Book Gift Guide Pt. 2

Spoiler alert: Slade Wilson shoots his eye out!

Welcome to second installment of the World’s Second Greatest Detetective’s 2014 Comic Book Gift Guide! In the first installment, I offered suggestions to those shopping for fans of the television programs The Flash, Gotham, and Smallville, the video games in the Batman: Arkham-verse and Injustice, and the film Man of Steel as well as some suggestions for a person’s individual fancies regarding Superman. While I enjoyed writing that list and believe it could come in handy for a handful of holiday shoppers, I felt quite embarrassed when I got towards the end (blogger’s exhaustion as it were) when I realized I had compiled a list almost exclusively contained heterosexual white males. This is 2014 and while heterosexual white dudes still dominate comics in both content and the industry, there are plenty of interesting characters and talented creators who have overcome the default settings that always inhibited Western media. I’ve included a mere fraction on this list.

COMICS FOR A LESBIAN WHO LIKES BATMAN AND HAS AN ELEGANT TASTE IN DESIGN: Batwoman has consistently been one of the most beautiful books in the past decade. Like Batwoman’s costume, the book’s art has experimented heavily with black, gray, and red to create a superhero book that looks more like a haunted luxury hotel than a comic book. You have two options really: before the New 52 or in the New 52.

BEFORE NEW 52: Greg Rucka and J.H. Williams III’s run on Detective Comics has been collected in Batwoman: Elegy. This book stands well by itself and costs less than $20, but if you really want to impress…

NEW 52: I’d recommend the first 4 volumes of Batwoman. J.H. Williams III sticks around and is joined by W. Haden Blackman. Their departure from the series was a small controversy and the story told in these volumes came to an underwhelming conclusion in the first issue contained in the fifth volume, but don’t let that discourage you.

COMICS FOR A LESBIAN WHO ALSO LIKES BATMAN BUT PREFERS CRIME NOIR: I suggest you take a look at Batwoman and if you think the person on your list would like it more if there were less skulls, you need not worry. Renee Montoya, one of Batwoman‘s ‘Eskimo sisters’ and a supporting character on television’s Gotham, is another prominent bad-ass lesbian in the DC universe. Her appearances in the New 52 have largely been limited to the background of the various Bat-titles, but prior to the New 52, Renee Montoya was kind of a star. I recommend Batman: War Games, any of the Gotham Central collections, and The Question: Five Books of Blood. Having made those recommendations, I should admit that I believe 52 is the best Renee Montoya story ever told, but I do not recommend you purchase 52 for a novice DC Comics reader. Much like I wouldn’t suggest Crisis on Infinite Earths for a fan of The Flash television program, 52 requires a good bit of background knowledge to fully appreciate.

COMICS FOR COWGIRLS: Without thinking too deeply on it, I’m going to declare Pretty Deadly as the best current title featuring a female main character, strong female cast, and predominantly female creative team. While I haven’t read everything out there, I feel pretty confident in my assertion because few artists provide layouts that can compare to Emma Rios’s pages and her style works so well with the story Kelly Sue Deconnick has written.

There’s only one collection of Pretty Deadly available, so if you really want spoil the cowgirl in your life, I recommend your pick up all the volumes of The Sixth Gun, a slightly brighter tale than Pretty Deadly with a significantly less creepy art style. The Sixth Gun is also appropriate for a wider age range than Pretty Deadly.

COMICS FOR READERS WHO WANT HISPANIC CHARACTERS AND ARE CAPABLE OF SHRUGGING OFF PATRONIZING STEREOTYPES: In the New 52, there are two characters that I consider guilty pleasures- actually that’s true, a lot of them that are guilty pleasures that require a suspension of  some of my values in the hope of developing a sophisticated world-view beyond good and evil- whether my affection for scantily clad superheroines, ultra-violence, or a bit of racism, something about reading comics makes me lower my ethical guard and it is in this state that I fell in love with the lovable gay Mexican undocumented immigrant Bunker of Teen Titans and to a lesser extent the Detroit-born Latin cheeseball Vibe, appearing in various titles including a his own short-lived title series. I’d recommend the collection of the Vibe series, titled Justice League of America’s Vibe: Breach, to people who like the fashion in Joel Silberg’s cinematic masterpiece Breakin’. There’s plenty in Vibe that worthy of being subjected to the harshest of structuralist, post-colonialist, deconstructionist, etc. critiques- have a friend writing a thesis on representation of Hispanic Americans? This is the book!

However, I find Bunker much more enjoyable than Vibe. Heavily defined by his sexuality, ethnicity, and geographical origins, Bunker comes across as a bright-eyed bundle of sunshine optimism. Everything in the US is awesome! Everything about being a superhero is awesome! Teen Titan Friendship is awesome! I’ve written before about the Othering of the Bunker character and in that post, I focused primarily on Bunker’s portrayal as an immigrant more than as a Mexican gay man and I still believe it is the most heavily contributing factor to his characterization.

COMICS FOR FANS ON THE CONSTANTINE TELEVISION SHOW: If the person on your list likes Constantine, I suggest you go the source material and start at the beginning of the Hellblazer titles. Most of the volumes are priced at $19.99 and can be found cheaper in the rainforest. Each collected volume is about 300 pages, so a single volume is a pretty hefty gift. If the person on your list likes Constantine but wishes John Constantine ran into Superman and Swamp Thing on a regular basis, I’d push you towards the New 52 Dark titles like Justice League Dark (soon to be a major motion picture…maybe), Constantine, The Trinity War, or perhaps the Forever Evil: Blight collection (but that only really works if you also pick up Justice League Vol. 5, Justice League of America Vol. 2, and the Forever Evil main collection…well, maybe not…)

COMICS FOR FANS OF THE WALKING DEAD SHOW WHO EITHER ALREADY READ THE WALKING DEAD OR FIGURE THEY’VE SEEN THE SHOW AND DON’T REALLY WANT TO GET WRAPPED UP IN THE COMIC: There are so many zombie comics out there now and many of them are pretty good. Want a funny zombie book? Try Last Resort. Want a zombie story set in wartime Afghanistan? Try Graveyard of Empires. Prefer the Vietnam War? Try ’68. Is the zombie enthusiast on your list like to be one step ahead of  the crowd (a good move during the zombie apocalypse)? I’d recommend the collection of the digital comic iZombie or the animal zombie tale The Other Dead as both will coming to the small screen some time soon. Still, my top recommendation for zombie books is Revival. It’s a small town tale that does it’s best to reconcile the humanity of their reanimated loved ones with the terrifying implications of the dead coming back to life.

Blogger’s exhaustion has hit again. I should return to present the 2014 Comic Book Gift Guide pt. 3. If you have a comic fan that you’re having trouble shopping for, feel free to send me a description of their interests to waynexiaolong@gmail.com or leave some info in the comments below. Feel free to do so after the holiday season has passed- I’m happy to consult on gifts for any occasion. If one of your celebrity friends had their nude photos leaked by hackers, you might not want to give them a copy of The Killing Joke.

2014 Comic Book Gift Guide Pt. 1

As the holiday season approaches, I thought I’d lend my expertise to those gift-givers out there with comic book fans of varying levels on their shopping list. Unlike a lot of the comic book gift guides I’ve seen around the web, this list is strictly books to be read- no etsy crafts, no action figures, no lingerie, no DVDs- just graphic novels and collected editions.

This list is set up to help you give the perfect gift, but giving the perfect gift involves two parties: the giver and the receiver. This list focuses on the receiver, but the true treasure of the gift should be that it came from you. (Actually that’s not entirely true: giving the perfect gift involves three parties: the giver, the receiver, and the producer of the gift- which is why independent comics make especially good gifts! Most items on this list, however, are not independents.)

Right now the comic book world is filled with comic book fans who have actually read very few comics. They may avidly watch TV shows, wear T-shirts, and rush to the movies, but they’ve had little contact with the source material.

CLASSICS: There are a few comics that critics insist belong in everyone’s collection. These can be dangerous gift purchases as these titles are pretty popular and may appear in even the mildest comic book fan. These books include works by Alan Moore (Watchmen; V for Vendetta; League of Extraordinary Gentlemen; The Killing Joke), works by Frank Miller (Batman Year One; The Dark Knight Returns; Sin City), and works by Grant Morrison (Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth; The Invisibles). These books are all well and good, but they’re pretty old and their iconic status means they might be in the person’s collection already. Another thing these books all have in common is that they’re not appropriate for young children. My advice is steer clear of these titles as gifts even though they’re all pretty great reads.

COMICS FOR PEOPLE WHO LIKE VIDEO GAMES: A lot of superhero video games are based on movies and those games are largely terrible. Some of the Spiderman games are good as is LEGO Marvel Super Heroes, but largely Marvel games have been duds. I can’t speak to the Disney Infinity stuff because I haven’t played it. Games based on DC properties have proven somewhat better- I’m a particular fan of the under-rated Batman: The Brave and The Bold, but the obvious ones are the Batman Arkham-verse games and Injustice: Gods Among Us. If you know that the person on your list loves playing the Arkham-verse games, I highly recommend the accompanying graphics novels (Batman: Arkham Asylum-The Road to Arkham; Batman: Arkham City; Batman: Arkham Unhinged; Batman: Arkham City-End Game; and Batman: Arkham Origins). While those books are good, the books that accompany Injustice: Gods Among Us are amazing. The collection hardcovers are also beautifully printed.

COMICS FOR PEOPLE WHO LIKE THE FLASH TV SHOW: The Flash can be an overwhelming character and Grant Gustin’s Flash on the show doesn’t exactly fit with any specific Flash story. The main storyline of the television show has been the murder of Barry Allen’s mother and some ambiguous Reverse Flash foreshadowing. The best Reverse Flash story is probably Flashpoint, but it comes with a lot of baggage that might be frustrating for the newcomer. To truly do Flashpoint justice, one should probably start with Flash: Rebirth (the return of Barry Allen) and then read The Flash Vol. 1: The Dastardly Death of the Rogues!, followed by The Flash Vol. 2: The Road to Flashpoint. After reading those three volumes, your Flash fan should be more than prepared to encounter Flashpoint, but to get the most of that story, they’ll want the accompanying World of Flashpoint collections. They don’t need to read every WoF story, so you might want to pick one that speaks most to your relationship or particular interest of the giver. I do recommend that you at least give a couple of World of Flashpoint The Flash along with the Flashpoint graphic novel. Below is a list of the collections that I’ve ranked based on personal preference:

1) World of Flashpoint Batman

2) World of Flashpoint Wonder Woman

3) World of Flashpoint Superman

4) World of Flashpoint Featuring Green Lantern

The truly generous Flashpoint gift set would include a total of 9 books and that can be pretty expensive, so you may want to get this Flash fan started on the New 52- start with The Flash Vol. 1: Move Forward.

Good indie option for Flash fans? The Manhattan Projects

COMICS FOR PEOPLE WHO LIKED SMALLVILLE: The obvious choice here would be to further the Smallville universe in the Smallville Season 11 series. If you want to provide them with a Superman story that evokes the same emotions as Smallville, I’d recommend Superman: Birthright or even Kurt Busiek’s Elseworlds story Superman: Secret Identity. One nice thing about both of these Superman books is that they don’t require the reader to have too much background knowledge and are self-contained stories.

Indie option? Invincible

COMICS FOR PEOPLE WHO LIKED MAN OF STEEL: Man of Steel centered largely around Kryptonian concerns, which can really be hit-or-miss in the comics and enjoyment depends largely on how the reader imagines Krypton themselves. Good Kryptonian reads include: Last Stand of New Krypton; Krypton Returns; H’el on Earth; Last Son of Krypton; and a lot of Supergirl stories. Another good choice that contains a lot of elements of Kryptonian lore, but takes place largely on Earth (and the Phantom Zone) is Superman for Tomorrow- great writing and great art.

Indie option? the rebooted X-O Manowar

COMICS FOR PEOPLE WITH REFINED TASTES WHO LIKE SUPERMAN: Personally, my favorite Superman stuff strays from the beaten path a bit. Considers these gift sets:

SUPERMAN + COLD WAR: Red Son asks what if Superman landed in the Soviet Union instead of the United States. The New Frontier posits Superman and other DC heroes in a 1950s atmosphere of McCarthyism, arms and space races, and a changing American dream.

SUPERMAN+FINE ART: Batman/Superman Vol. 1: Cross World and Vol 2: Game Over feature some of the dreamiest superhero art you find by master Jae Lee. Likewise Alex Ross has made significant contributions to raising the bar of superhero art with works like: Kingdom Come; Justice; and one of my personal favorites and a book that truly captures the Christmas spirit is The World’s Greatest Super-Heroes, which unfortunately is out of print. If you can track down that last one, you might be a comics reader hero.

SUPERMAN+FREAKOUT!: Sometimes Superman gets downright psychedelic as authors let their freak flags fly. This is especially true whenever Grant Morrison gets his hands on the Man of Steel. The first three volumes of Morrison’s run on Action Comics (New 52) would make a mind-bending gift for your Superman fan or his All-Star Superman if you only feel like giving a single book. Many Superman Elseworlds stories like The Nail, Metropolis, Kal, and those I’ve already mentioned (Kingdom Come, Red Son, Secret Identity) all challenge the reader to expand their understanding of the last son of Krypton.

COMICS FOR PEOPLE WHO LIKE THE GOTHAM TV SHOW: Gotham Central was a series by Brubaker and Rukka that focused more on the cops than the bats in Gotham City. Without this comic, there might not have been a Gotham TV show.

The recently released first volume of Batman Eternal is a great Jim Gordon-centered drama. It’s big and fat and wonderful.

COMICS FOR BATMAN FANS WHO FEAR THE NEW WORLD ORDER: The Court of Owls and The Night of Owls are Batman books from the New 52 that introduce an Illuminati Golden Dawn Skulls Freemason Rotary Club called the Court of Owls. Scott Snyder’s writing and Greg Capullo’s art are the current Batman standard. These books are complimented by the New 52 titles: Nightwing, Talon, All-Star Western, and Birds of Prey and to a lesser extent, Detective Comics, Batwing, and Catwoman.

That’s a good start to flood a comic fans stocking with a bunch of comics starring white male heroes, but trust me- there are many great books out there that don’t focus solely on muscular white dudes getting their science fiction on!  If I have time, I’ll try to post some on those as well as suggestions for fans of the Constantine show in the next installment of the World’s Second Greatest Detective’s 2014 Comic Book Gift Guide.

亲爱的 Dracula: Panda Claus

 

The Christmas Spirit of the World’s Second Greatest Detective

As the last moments of 2013 are sucked up into the vortex of history, I thought I could share a few items that I feel really articulate the Christmas Spirit of Wayne Xiaolong, the World’s Second Greatest Detective.

Firstly, craft plays a huge role in what makes this site tick. One of the things that separates Wayne Xiaolong from other comic book sites is the ambition of this site to produce content rather than review or report on the content of others. This holiday season I’ve made a number of crafts and I’d like to share some of them here.

I made a significant quantity of lighters as holiday gifts this year. I haven’t given them all out, so I’m only posting pictures of ones that have already been claimed. Making these lighters was really simple. If you want to make some yourself, you’ll need a few things: cigarette lighter(s), decoupage, paint brush, and some images. I created my images using Photoshop. I cropped pictures from the internet and pasted a gold frame to keep it classy. You don’t need to print pictures though. You can cut images out of magazines, comics, instruction manuals, etc. I would recommend thinner paper over thicker paper, so no encyclopedias except maybe Wikipedia. Then you paint a little decoupage on the lighter and the back of the picture. Place the picture on the lighter. Paint a little decoupage on the top of the picture and let it dry. Repeat that last step a few times and viola! You have a fun and inexpensive gift. Many of the lighters are made were tailored to the recipient, but the ones in the above photograph were chosen as more generic crowd-pleasers because who doesn’t love Earth Kitt, Li Xiao Long, Linda Carter, and Zhang Man Yu?

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Secondly, Wayne Xiaolong exists in response to the exciting stuff going on in comic books and the Atlanta art world. The work that I do with artists and arts organizations here in Atlanta gives me a very real sense of community while the current generation of comics creators provides me with a different sense of community as I find myself identifying with and finding inspiration from the incredible work being produced right now. WXL proudly wears its branding as an outpost for the eccentricities of the Green Lantern narrative. The last decade of Green Lantern work opened my eyes to the renaissance taking place in comics while the new crop of talent working on the title have been very supportive of this site. Now is a great time to be a Green Lantern fan and I encourage all of you to check out the independent titles that helped Vendetti, Soule, Jordan, and Jensen catch the attention of DC Comics. Anyway, last night I received a gift from Van Jensen, a GL writer who has made Atlanta his home, that I wanted to share with you. It’s a magnet featuring two classic GLs from the Silver Age, Tomar-Re and B’dg.

Thirdly, a desire to bring light into this dark world is fundamental to the philosophy of this site. Some of the most frequent visitors to this site come in search of ESL crossword puzzle and clozes related to superheroes. Having taught a university course on the history of superheroes to Chinese (i.e. ESL) students in Dalian, I have the unique experience and expertise in using superheroes as tools for teaching English language and Western culture to people from the East. For the past year, I’ve been creating these crosswords for the family from Myanmar that I tutor. They’re a really fantastic family from the Chin state of Myanmar- mom, dad, and two lovely little boys. The two boys often greet me with one of three battle cries: “Superhero!” “Batman!” and “Go Go Power Rangers!” They’re pretty young (2 & 4) and English is their 2nd (maybe 3rd/4th) language, but my goal is get at least the older boy to be able to recite the full GL oath (In brightest day, in blackest night; no evil shall escape my sight; let those who worship evil’s might; beware my power- Green Lantern’s light!) .  Here’s a picture of the two boys as pandas that I created last year. Like most children their age, they’ve been growing at a phenomenal rate.

I often bring them sweets and small toys. After Free Comic Book Day, I brought them a big stack of nearly age-appropriate comics. Their joy is some of the most rewarding joy to witness and they provided what I believe will be the highlight of my holiday season. This past Wednesday I brought them their Christmas present.

I wrapped the gift and adorned it with candy canes, gingerbread Twix, caramel apple Milky Way bites, and a Godiva truffle. These kids love chocolate and superheroes, so we have a lot in common. When they opened the gift to find the world’s greatest heroes, their excitement could not be contained. Jumping up and down, shaking their fists, shrieking- these kids seemed to be in total awe that the seven major members  of the Justice League were now part of their toy army. In a pleasant coincidence, Young Justice was playing on the TV, which made it very easy to explain to them who Cyborg is.

Finally, the World’s Second Greatest Detective would like to wish a safe and happy holiday season to everyone who reads, supports, and inspires this site. Let’s all pledge to work towards a more cooperative world in 2014, to turn hope into action, and to celebrate the contributions and potential in others and ourselves. I have a feeling we can look forward to some great comics too.

The Ice Storm and the Fantastic Four

I’d like to share a passage from Rick Moody’s The Ice Storm with you. This passage was brought to my attention by my lovely wife. She’s a better reader than me for several reasons. One reason is that I’ve resigned myself to primarily reading books with pictures in them, but that’s a relatively new thing. The reason that impresses me the most is that she’s well-read in two languages. Her decision to read The Ice Storm follows in the foot steps of Li Ang, another Chinese genius who reads Western literature. You may remember than Li Ang directed the film adaptation of the book. It featured the acting talents of Sigourney Weaver and does not resemble that abomination Avatar. My wife’s been reading this book for the past few days and keeps telling me that she finally understands the American Suburbs and why I’m fucked up.

Anyway, here’s the passage:

Sure, Paul had tried DC Comics. He had read Batman and Justice League of America, and he had followed some of the other Marvel titles too: Spider-Man, Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, The Avengers, and X-Men and especially those titles that were F.F. spin-offs, The Silver Surfer and The Sub-Mariner. He had tried them all. He had ranged far and wide. But he kept coming back to the F.F. Batman was cool: his skills were not supernatural. He was just smart and rich. Superman was a moral force. The Hulk had hubris. Silver Surfer was definitely created by a mind on psychedelics. Thor was the comic you read if you wanted to work for one of those touring Renaissance festivals, if you wanted to wear a shirt that was called a blouse.

So why the Fantastic Four? First of all, Paul couldn’t shake the uncanny coincidence that his father had the same first name as Benjamin Grimm, the Thing. When he was younger, he actually thought of his father as the Thing: chunky, homely, self-pitying. When Paul was a kid, his dad raged around his house like a pachyderm taking down underbrush. His father would find a damp towel clumped on the bathroom floor and sprint to Paul’s room to accuse him. His father would lay in wait for the tiniest noise, the scantest footfall, and then he would howl from the bottom of the stairs. But his dad was always coming around to apologize, too. He couldn’t terrorize with real commitment. He was like the Thing. He hated the world, hated mankind, but loved people, loved kids and dogs.

And his mother was the Invisible Girl. Although, on the other hand, sometimes she was like Crystal, the Elemental, the prophetess, a seer. And sometimes his dad was Reed Richards, the elastic scientist. And sometimes Paul himself was Be Grimm, and sometimes he was Peter Parker, a.k.a. the Spider-Man. These models never worked exactly. Still, the F.F., with all their mistakes and allegiances, their infighting and dependability, told some true tale about family. When Paul started reading these books, the corny melodram of New Canaan lost its sting.

The pictures are from our tree. If you want to look at more of our ornaments, I suggest you click here and enjoy some of the ways the Christmas spirit manifested in our apartment. If you want to make us an ornament, that would be pretty cool.

The Silent Night Rises

While we have spent several Christmases together, this year will be our first Christmas together in a predominantly Christian country and our first Christmas with a Christmas tree. The tree is artificial, a hand-me-down from my sister. Decorating it has been a joy.

This photo shows the tree is its earliest stage of transformation from simplicity to fabulousity. Note the faux amanita muscaria mushroom placed on the bottom of the tree in honor of Santa Claus’s Siberian roots.

The star on top of the tree symbolizes the star that led the three kings to Nazareth where they were informed “THANK YOU, WISE MEN! BUT OUR SAVIOR IS IN ANOTHER MANGER!”

This Superman figure sits near the top of the tree. It is based on a cover by Jim Lee.

An anti-Themyscira/pro-Atlantis button. We scored a lot of Flashpoint buttons for free from Oxford Comics in Atlanta. I think they’re still have some. They’re giving them away until they run out. I really like this button and the weird fantasy world misogyny connotations that come with it. It would’ve broken my heart to see to Aquaman marry Wonder Woman because it would break Mera’s heart; she and I share a psychic bond, but have different allergies.

Our friend made us these two ornaments to commemorate the special relationship between People’s Republic of China and the United States of America. One world, one dream!

Recycling the season’s classic Naughty-Nice dichotomy

Batman with a pink grenade, dreaming of pink lemonade

The penguin shall lie down with the bat.

August 1st (八一 ba yi)

The Chinese Army

Bob-Omb Over Bethlehem

Batman spying on Mario spying on a sheep’s little butthole

Edible ornament, like a string of popcorn

Deathstroke as a a circle, Norin Radd as a bear

The Koopa is uncomfortable with the D and everything it stands for.

Pink-skinned Toad, possibly boiled

When we visited New York last summer, we saw many of my dearest friends. Of course, we brought many gifts with us. For one of my friends, who is a bit of psychotic pervert, we brought a very creepy cat mask from Japan. The mask continues to make him the envy of every other psychotic pervert he knows. His lady-friend also gave us a gift. She’s Dominican and wanted to share some of her culture with us, so she gave us a couple magic Catholic voodoo bracelets. One of these bracelets appear in the photo above. Both bracelets appear on the tree, warding off evil spirits like birth control and hard work.

We hosted some of our friends for dinner last week and they brought us this fun home-made ornament. From its design, you can tell that our friends are winos.

Is it a ghost? an arctic sloth? a klansbaby? an adorable snow demon? one of those naughty gremlins from Family Circus?

Yuanyuan made these when we lived in Chongqing. The two big ones are Russell and 2D. The two little ones are Murdoc and Noodle.

Domo: “Words are very unnecessary. They can only do harm.”

Another link in exposing the U.S. imperialists’ hidden legacy of interference in the Mushroom Kingdom

Detail of Mario’s eyes’ shiftiness

A carton of milk, a fire flower, and Donkey Kong walk into a bar. Donkey Kong orders a banana beer and the bartender asks him why he didn’t order anything for the other two. Donkey Kong shakes his head and says, “I intend to barter the milk for the beer. If you refuse, I will use the flower to burn down your bar.”

Monkey

My neighbor Totoro and a cat biting his style

Ninjabat from Uglydoll

Twas the night before Christmas, when the virgin was due,

Not a creature was stirring, not even a Boo.

The stock market was fixed by the Illuminati with care

to distract the masses from pillaging billionaires.

The children were medicated for their ADHD

with anxiety meds and methamphetamine.

Ma in denial and me in withdrawal

Had just signed a check to cover it all.

When straight out of Compton arose such a clatter,

I neither created nor destroyed any matter.

A mouthful of Windex, I smelled like I felt,

bored out of the shutters and hungry as hell.

The movie star’s breasts aroused even the snow

as she jumped up and down on the television show.

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

but her tits fell out of her dress and so did her rear!

With a little search engine, so lively and quick,

I found a site where I downloaded the pics.

More rabid than eagles, the internet burst

with photos galore of the starlet, her at her worst.

“Now Dasher! Now Dancer! Now Cagney and Lacy!

On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, those who obey me!

Hey, I just met you and this crazy,

But here’s my number, so call me maybe?”

And then, in a twinkling, I found some proof

that intruders were loitering up on my roof.

As I drew my pistol and napalm and sword,

Down the chimney appeared the chairman of the board.

He was dressed in a grey suit with a loosened necktie,

the typical look for a Hoboken wise guy.

Melting ice cubes flung from his glass

as he looked for liquor with both his eyes and his ass.

His eyes- how they twinkled! His voice- how dreamy!

When he licked his lips, I shuddered extremely.

His slack and sweet mouth was drawn like a stiff,

suckling the nectar from a shoplifted fifth.

A tightly rolled spliff he held tight in his teeth

and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.

He had a broad face and a golden arm,

one little taste would do Frankie no harm.

He spoke a few words, then went straight back to Vegas.

“I hate all the tourists, but at least the bourgeoisie pays us…”

And laying his finger deep inside his nose,

up! up! the chimey he flamboyantly rose!

He sprang from our lives to follow his dreams

and away they all flew like melting ice creams.

But I heard him exclaim at the end of day,

“More, much more than this, I did it my way.”

Another gift. This is not Bane.

A propeller shroomed Toad from New Super Marios Bros.

1up Mushroom with lace

Blinky

This cute panda arrived from China with some shoes and books.

Inky

44th President of the United States of America Barack Obama

A tree grows between Captain Marvel’s legs.

One-armed Italian plumber bear in background

Another gift from an accomplished ghost-buster

Deadman and Wonder Woman are buttons, but Superman came from a bottle of juice drink.

This ornament is pretty old. The baby is based on me when I was a baby. Back then, I had a pretty cute butt.

 

What’s cooler than being cool? Captain Cold.

The Wolfman’s First Rodeo

Yoshi, cruising for confusion among the Christmas miracles.

Burmese Days of Christmas