亲爱的 Dracula: Rowdy Roddy Panda

Here’s a piece I created in memory of the Hot Rod Rowdy Roddy Piper, one of my favorite wrestlers from childhood who died last week. I’m considering using this image in Baby Nightsoil Sticker Series 5 as the panda portraits of James Brown and Hank Williams, Sr. turned out to be some of the most popular from Series 3. Also I like the idea of a sticker featuring a professional wrestling legend with instructions like Buy, Conform, Stay Asleep, and Consume. I don’t think anybody’s ever done anything like that before….

I’ve been considering doing  an animal legends of wrestling series- King Kong Bundy as a gorilla, Superfly Jimmy Snuka as a fly, British Bulldog as a bulldog, Million Dollar Man as a vicious snake, Big Boss Man as a pig, George the Animal Steele as a blue-tongued dolphin… About a year ago, I did Macho King Randy Savage piece that was also included in Baby Nightsoil Sticker Series 3 but the sticker was a bit too small, didn’t really do the image justice.

I saw the sticker show up on a parking meter in Atlanta.

If any of you catch one of my stickers out and about, I’d love it if you sent me a picture- waynexiaolong@gmail.com

I’m interested in all ways my stickers are being used. It doesn’t have to be vandalism. Maybe you use them in your work place to provide important safety information or perhaps you put one on your computer to hide a brand’s logo or maybe you put them on your truck to let everybody on the highway know that you not only have great taste in art but access to the elusive and whispered about art sensation known as Baby Nightsoil

亲爱的 Dracula: DTP (Down to Pho)

My recent campaign to get panda portraits of my wife on display at our favorite restaurants has added a second location. We visited Dua Vietnamese Noodle for lunch on my wife’s birthday. Her special birthday wish was to get two to-go orders of pho- one for lunch and one for a midnight snack- from Dua. We don’t frequent Dua as much as other pho spots because their hours aren’t particularly convenient and parking is annoying, but their noodles are so good that my wife looks for any opportunity to squeeze in a visit. We made the trip on her birthday and brought the restaurant a gift- a portrait I had done of her a few weeks earlier. The owners were very receptive and have asked me to do a few more pieces.

If you ever find yourself in Downtown Atlanta before 6pm and you’re hungry, I strongly recommend Dua. They have two locations on Broad Street: Dua and Dua 2 Go, which, as the name suggests, offers their regular menu to go. To all my fellow Dragon Con people, I recommend walking a little further down Peachtree Street to eat here during the Con. They’re closed on Sundays, so hit them up on Friday and Saturday. It’s just far enough from the major DC hotels that you won’t have to wait forever- definitely better food and experience than the spots in Peachtree Center!

Above you can see the inaugural restaurant panda portrait which I did for Scott’s Eats and Sweets in Mableton, Georgia, which is also a Vietnamese noodle spot. We’d eat at Scott’s more often too but Mableton is pretty far from where we live. It’s a nice to spot to meet up with some of our OTP (that’s outside-the-perimeter for you out-of-towners) friends.

I hope to get a few more restaurants in before the end of the year. If you’re interested in displaying a portrait of my wife as a panda eating the cuisine of your restaurant, send me an email (waynexiaolong@gmail.com) and we can try to put something together. I must warn you that in the interest of preserving my integrity as an artist- your food better be delicious or you get farts instead of arts.

Way to go, Trevor Noah

A few weeks ago I wrote an open letter to Jon Stewart with some ideas about who might be selected as his replacement. With the recent announcement that Trevor Noah will be taking up responsibilities behind the desk at the Daily Show, I figured I could do him the same favor I did Jon Stewart and whip up a quick diddly panda portrait. Unfortunately I don’t know about any marijuana-based comedies in Trevor Noah’s past, so I worked from an image from his more recent fake news correspondent work. Noah is the first South African to receive the honor of a Baby Nightsoil panda portrait. Of the horses still in the Daily Show stable, I think choosing Noah was the best decision. He’s the best suited to anchor the show- Jessica Williams has too much of a hurricane-like energy while Jordan Klepper and Hasan Minhaj both have that eternal youth look that old people don’t trust in doctors and newscasters. Some critics have worried how Noah will cover the upcoming 2016 presidential elections, but I have high hopes for Noah as he joins the great tradition of foreigners and immigrants having a sarcastic love affair with the United States- Alexis Tocqueville, Jean Beaudrillard, Craig Ferguson, my wife, and of course, John Oliver. Foreigners can have an appreciation of this great American experiments that native residents can’t even fake. Other critics have seized upon a few tweets for what I consider mildly offensive content. These tweets and their commentary on Israel and women’s appearances would’ve been inappropriate in a professional setting unless your profession is comedy. In that case, the material seems pretty tame. Perhaps he will start a meaningful revolution during his tenure as host of the Daily Show, but probably he’ll just tell some jokes.

亲爱的 Dracula: Swing By The Cheeks

This is a portrait of my friend Jia Jia. It’s based on a photograph taken about three years ago. If I remember correctly and I can’t sweat to, the photograph I worked from was actually taken by her then-boyfriend/now-husband Chinese rock star Yu Dong of the Bear Minorities and Doc Talk Shock. I did a panda version of Doc Talk Shock a while ago (image below). Yu Dong is the one with birds on his shirt. The drummer you may recognize from the group Horse Horse Tiger Tiger.

亲爱的 Dracula: Video Alice Killed Radio Alice

Here’s another slew of panda portraits. Subjects include happy young pandas in rocking chairs, panda academics exploring the substance and consequence of popular culture, the War Corps Starlord, and a fantastic noodle spot in Mableton, Georgia called Scott’s Eats and Sweets that I highly recommend.

“Soyez réalistes, demandez l’impossible.“

If scholars were more like pandas, it would be easier to secure a faculty position.

 

Dear Jon Stewart

Dear Jon Stewart,

After more than fifteen years of hosting The Daily Show, you’re moving on to pursue other interests. While you will be missed, the decision is quite understandable and the world waits to see what you will do with your new found free time. Your recent foray into professional wrestling seems to be a positive indicator for things to come- the kind of thing Barthes or Kaufman would’ve done. You resemble the intellectual love child of those two gentlemen.

I also admire your directorial debut Rosewater telling the harrowing story of Maziar Bahari. As a television star and film director, you perform much better than as a film star.

While socially important, Rosewater was also pretty funny. That seems to be the paradigm in which you function best. Some of your directing techniques were hit and miss, but it’s your first movie and my criticisms may be a bit nitpicky. The actor you got to play Jason Jones looked almost identical to him, except a little fatter. I liked how you employed certain techniques like showing Dr. Strangelove and the Ayatollah on the street, but I thought the hashtag following everyone in the city was a bit heavy-handed, obvious, corny. Still, it was a good movie. My wife and I made a real date of it. We watched it on Amazon Prime and ordered take-out from one of your favorite restaurants- American Roast Beef? Yes, Sir!

Let me encourage to make more films- perhaps reboot Bob Fosse’s Lenny or maybe that’s too obvious. Franz Fanon bio-pic? Maybe stick with Iran and get Alan Arkin to play Mossadegh before he dies. Perhaps something with Jello Biafra- I know you have those punk rock roots like a punk rock tree. I’d be remiss if I didn’t push you to follow your destiny- the ring chose you for a reason.

Especially when there are still so many dangerous lunatics wielding the yellow light of fear.

I’m not just writing this letter to congratulate you, but to express some concerns about the state of your legacy.

While it was sad to see Colbert go, I’ve enthusiastically welcomed Larry Wilmore and the Nightly Show. I’m not crazy about that name- I still think Minority Report works better. I take beef with some of the ways Wilmore has been cheated. 1) His budget is obviously less than Colbert’s. His correspondents never get to travel. 2) Hulu is racist. My wife and I used to watch the Daily Show and Colbert Report on Hulu and whenever the Daily Show would finish, it would immediately offer Colbert. Now that Colbert’s done and you have a new sister show, Hulu is subtly driving viewers away from your family of shows. When the Daily Show finishes, Hulu brings up Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon, or some other white guy named Jimmy. What’s up with that? Before you leave, you should tell Hulu to cut that shit out.

I’m also pretty concerned about who is going to take over your responsibilities as host of the Daily Show. Is there anyone in the bullpen up to the task? You’ve got a great crew of writers and on-air personalities, but I believe their destinies lie somewhere besides behind the fake news desk. While I strongly discourage letting another short white man host the show, Henry Rollins should at least be on the short list (no pun intended). Have you considered either Harold or Kumar? They could’ve gotten George W. Bush on the show and, in all fairness, they make a better marijuana comedy than you. If Hillary doesn’t win in 2016, she’s pretty funny. Both Obamas will be coming into some free time soon. Cecily Strong may also seem like a good choice, but I discourage recycling Weekend Update alums on the Daily Show. It’s like watching porn that an ex-girlfriend is in. Beyond Harold or Kumar, my strongest recommendation would be Aisha Tyler- she’s funny, smart, quick on her feet, and quite easy on the eyes.

Whoever you chose as your successor, make it count. It’s a great responsibility, which sometimes accompanies radioactive spiderbites.

In conclusion, Jon Stewart of Earth, the World’s Second Greatest Detective wishes you luck.

亲爱的 Dracula: Young Gentlemen

As my friends have begun to have babies, I’ve found myself drawing them often as gifts. Through that process, I’ve been forced to spend chunks of time staring at the faces of babies. The whole experience is oddly soothing. I also frequently work from photographs I snap of people on the street- adults and teenagers- and the experience of staring at a grown person’s face, particularly when they’re not smiling, feels more like the business end of a psychic pitchfork. I’m on the fence on which make for creepier subjects- children or adults.

亲爱的 Dracula: Two Burnt Holes in A Blanket

Here are a couple of recent panda pics.

The coloring of the bottom one is intended to less-than-subliminally provoke thoughts of the Bahamas and in turn, compel the audience to act more like James Bond.

Decatur Lawn Blooms Comics For Springtime: The My Parents Basement Craft Beer and Comic Book Store Yard Sale

I had the good fortune of attending the My Parents Basement Craft Beer and Comic Book Store Yard Sale this Saturday morning in Decatur. As local Atlanta upstart My Parents Basement gets its act together in preparation for opening a full-on brick and mortar comic shop pub, they’ve been hosting seasonal yard sales where they offer comics by the pound. They hope to open their store within a year. The scene was very welcoming, the entrepreneurs decked out in MPB t-shirts made certain to welcome each guest. The layout was pretty straight forward. The event featured raffles, live music, and of course, comic books and craft beer. When I was there, they were serving some watermelon beer I hadn’t encountered before. If they’re able to maintain the enthusiasm they exhibited today, I have a feeling that MPB will become a shimmering jewel in the crown of Decatur.

亲爱的 Dracula: Extended Family

Here are a few pictures I’ve done recently that are based on some of my extended relations. In the above picture, the boy riding the squirrel beast is my cousin’s son. In the picture below, his sister (my cousin’s daughter) can be seen dining out with a varmint. The final picture is a portrait of my in-laws, my wife’s mother’s sister (大姨 – I hope I got that second character right) and her husband. I hope you like them.